Journal Entry 3

April 23rd, 2005

The last few days were hell. Ramiel was really upset about the situation that resulted from the encounter with the Waterfall spirit. I don’t know exactly what happened during the seance we held for that lost soul, but whatever it was really upset him. It upset him so badly he wouldn’t come near me, or even look at me. He was in a terrible mood and he had a big lump on his head.

Nobody would even talk about it and he was so angry all the time I thought he’d yell at me or worse if I pushed him to tell him what was wrong. That made me even afraid to touch his mind and pull what secret he was keeping out into the open. But I worried that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to keep silent about it. I was afraid to find out that I did something to make him so angry and I couldn’t bear the thought that he was secretly hating me. I didn’t want to know he hated me.

I kept wracking my mind to try to figure out what I had done, but I just didn’t know. I was so upset I cried and tried to hide it from him.

Thank God for Rey, though. Ramiel led us to this funny little town just off Lake Champlain. He said he wanted to see the legendary lake monster, Champy, and it brought me hope that his mood had cleared.

We shared a room, as we usually do to save money, though we gave Rey her own room. A storm rolled in and it seemed like he was going to treat me the same. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I confronted him with my feelings. Maybe it was the storm — I’ve always had this irrational fear of thunder and lightning — but I just couldn’t hold it back. I knew he loved me. I just knew it. I had to make him understand how I felt.

We are brother and sister. Not by blood, I’m sure. I was adopted as a baby, so he really was the only brother I’ve ever known. I also know that people might think it’s wrong to love your brother but I don’t care. I’ve never cared about what people think. I’ve loved my brother all my life and I’ve wanted to be physically with him. Sexually with him.

Last night, I got my wish. And, more importantly, it was his wish too. I know he felt a little awkward at first. In fact, he didn’t even believe me when I told him how I felt, how I wanted to have him. He thought I was teasing. But it’s true. It was always true. And last night I learned that we could be together, always. I know it.

He makes me feel new again, like a brand new person. I’ve known him all my life, but now I truly know him and I want him constantly.

I hope it never ends.

Lost Souls

Timeline: September 25, 2001

Lyla had lost the Dark Man’s trail several days ago and try as she might, she couldn’t pick it up again. It happened from time to time and Ramiel learned that sooner or later, she always picked found it again. But Lyla always fretted over it far more than he did. She had been a bundle of nerves for a couple days. But this morning she was despondent and unmotivated. He knew she was sick of being on the trail.

The hiking was always harder for her than it was for him. She never tripped or stumbled, but she tired more easily. He was always more athletic and knew better how to handle himself in the outdoors. Lyla had long since given up trying and just relied on him to tell her what needed to be done. She was really more of a creature of civilization that was forced to try to track their enemy through the wilds. Every now and then she needed a break from the demands of the outdoors to regenerate her civilized spirit in a town or city.

Continue reading “Lost Souls”

Shot to the head

He was talking to Police Sargent Tobby Carlille when he saw her come out of a bar with a man he thought was a small time Catholic Enforcer. He couldn’t quite place her but dam she looked familer. So he said goodbye to the Sargent and told him to have a pint when he was off duty. Then he followed them while he tried to work it out. Unfortunately he didn’t try and stay hidden well enough, and the man told him to fuck off. His damnable pride kicked in and Shawn told him to rethink his talk. He got a punch in the stomacke for his trouble. So he hit back and the fight was on. The man backed into an ally and drew a knife. So I grapped him and was going to make him drop the knife, when he was suddenly wearing his brains. Then the woman shot him in the head, it was just a graze but it hurt all the same. He grabbed her and bit her and drained her. Then took her home and tied her up so what to do with her. Kill her or keep her or let her go. Calling around for advice didn’t help. Kian said kill her but some sliver of humanity said that would be wrong. In the end he let her go but he knew he would be seeing her again.

Leaving London

We sent Sarah and Gen away and decesended in to the Depths. We soon found ourselves going down a spiral stair it ended in the cornor of a large room a stream ran through it, part of an old sewer system no doubt. Brenna took point from me since she knew where we were going. We came to a bridge over the stream. Brenna crossed it first, I waited a bit for her to get ahead for she was hidden and I could not see her. Dante managed to keep track of her. Soon after she reached the door I started across the bridge. She screamed and I quickly ran forward and entered a nightmare from my past. I relived the time of my embrace but it was as if I knew it was my past and could somehow change it. Steven and Micheal were there or at least I thought they were. It was some creature influencing my thoughts but at the time it was so real. I broke from my cage and grappled with Steven/Brenna I was going to take his knife away and fight them. Then Micheal/Dante attacked me, I am not sure who or what he saw. In my dream I realized I coudldn’t stand against Micheal and so since I alreadh had Steven I was going to run out the door. A door which happened to not be there in reality. It weakened the creatures hold on me and I was able to quickly throw its influence off. Unfortunately Brenna and Dante weren’t so quick. I had to void hurting them while not getting hurt myself. And then I looked up and saw some creature of mist and shadow flowing toward us. I grabbed Brenna and started for the door. I was really hoping it was a really door this time because I was getting wounded trying not to wound my allies.

It came after us and was going to kill us. Brenna made a torch and lit it. I freaked out and ran but the shadow was ahead of me it moved incredible fast. It boiled my blood but it was cold not hot like fire so I ran on. It took all my vitae and I fought the hunger and tried to get far away from my friends least I turn on them in my need. When I came back to my self my friends were approching and dead rats lay strewn around. I was glad it wasn’t some homeless vagavound. I can forgive myself rats. Dante made some comment about being a rat licker or something… normally I would have taken umbridge but I was just to tired and emotionally drained.

We got out of the undergound and went to our safe house. When we got there one of the servitors handed me a note. Sarah had decided to flee and she had taken Gen with her or maybe it was the other way around but they were gone. We went to court and presented our finding to the Empress.

Then Moria hired The butcher to find our runaways. The cost was high but Moria paid it. We all paid part of itin blood. We were put in contact with a tracker and they followed our quarry to a Birmingham. The next night at midnight we formalized agreements with London, then we went to oxford. The following night we arived at Birmingham. We debated presenting ourselves at the local court but decided to try and get in and get out.

The police were there at the frat house when we arrived. Gen had been taken and Sarah was looking for her. So we went looking for Sarah. Unfortunately, there was an incident involving Moria and an informant, one the informant did not survive. I am not sure what is going on there and I am pretty sure I don’t want to know. The beautiful Moria is not so beautiful at the moment.

Brenna and a friend of ours, were reuninted with our lost lamb and we all went home. I am tired and I must come up with money to fund my change.

The Waterfall

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m not going to be writing things in here in a chronological order. As I remember things, or feel able to write about them, I’ll do it.

I still don’t feel good about what happened at the waterfall. I thought I was doing the right thing, being so careful. But I screwed up. Big time. Ramiel ended up possessed by a ghost I’m positive wasn’t the one I called, and he almost raped an unconscious Lyla. All because of me.

I was so careful to make sure it was the woman’s ghost, but I forgot to try and verify the man’s ghost. I feel so stupid. And then my temper got the better of me… Thank god Hamilton was there and he was able to heal Ramiel. I don’t think I could ever have forgiven myself if… I don’t even want to think about what could have happened.

I still don’t think I can forgive myself for that failure.

Opening Entry

I don’t really know why I’m doing this. Well, I do, but it feels more than a little strange. Hamilton told me once that witches have something called a Book of Shadows. They used to have an oral tradition, passing knowledge down to members of their coven. When the persecutions started, the covens disbanded and the witches went into hiding, and so they knowledge wouldn’t be lost, they started writing it down.

So I guess this will be my Book of Shadows. I’ll record what I learn and experience. I doubt I’ll have anyone to ever share my knowledge with. I mean, Lyla and Ramiel are nice, and are kind of like family to me now, but… I don’t know. Given what my own parents did to me, is it any wonder I’m nervous?

We’re on our way to Charlotte. Ramiel has this bee in his bonnet about getting there. He won’t tell Lyla or I what it’s about. It’s almost like he’s a lemming, driven towards the sea – or in this case, Lake Champlain. Yeah, I know, lemmings don’t really run themselves over cliffs into the ocean, but the image is still a good one.

The Beginning

The last thing I remember in life was a feeling of anger and despair then my throat was ripped out.

Now I am in my unlife I have arisen as a creature of the night.

My sire as I have learned to call him left me in an iron cage for dead but I didn’t die. I eventually got desperate and bent the iron bars like taffie and escaped the cage.

A member of Micheal’s gang appeared and tried to talk me in to attacking someone or he would kill me.

I was going to do it when he was killed in front me but one of the people? I now call an ally. Katherine

I was brought into my new circle of friends. Kian, Brenna, Moria, Ian, Katherine and Eife.

Now its a new life of unlife, trying to adjust and learn the ropes. I will learn all I can and I will survive.

Round we go.

I have been named Master of Elysium, and now I have to keep the title. Eife informed me that I was not her choice for the job, I finished her sentence for her on that one. I knew that Moira was her choice, in fact she was mine as well, though she does not wish it, I knew that as well. Though it was my choice to proceed with pursuing the position, it was not my intention to obtain it. I simply did not want any of the other Kindred who decided to sit around doing nothing about he brood situation to have it. Though I cannot discard them, as they are powerful, they are not deserving of anything, not that I will ever say that out loud, it is not how we play the game is it.

So now I am in a position of power, a great deal of power that many will covet and try to take from me. I wanted a place and now that I have one I will keep it, at least until I make someone better to hold it. Really you need money and knowledge that any child of this time has. I have only faint ideas of how this time works; I have slept for a thousand years after all. I am still trying to figure out modern things, like electricity, fascinating.

I am not ignorant to my own weaknesses, and neither is the rest of the city. They know Kian is my biggest weakness, as is my wrath. They also know that nothing triggers my wrath like Kian. Now do I care about this, no, should I, yes. Bleck the whole social thing leaves a foul taste in my mouth, like dog.

The cotorie needs to be in power, and we have been successful in this, we now hold most of the positions of power, however Eife did give Primogen positions as a compromise to some others, less deserving. Veronica and Tara have been placed on the council and Elroy is some sort of ghost position. I think he may be involved in something else, and that is why he turned it down. I can not see why he would turn it down otherwise, he craves leverage over others. Veronica I want to trust because Kian does, however our recent conversation has left me less than enthusiastic about her.

Another that leaves me with a great deal of frustration is Elroy. He says we were playing a game, but now that I am in a position of power the game is over, but he still acts the same. He is an arrogant, pompous, irritating ,ugh, I loath him. He is constantly insulting me and turning my words into things they are not. I would rather not work with him and maybe I do not have to very often, after all he basically told me to stay clear of the other Nosferatu. He said that he had hoped I would leave all this foolishness, and work for him. All he wants is power over me, and I will not give it.

Veronica is another fable all together, she is a friend of Kians, and probably he has bedded her, like most everything. I hate that I love him. I wanted to be friends with her, but she stepped poorly with me, she was very demanding of me.Stating that I owed her my position, that I am only Master because she stepped aside. If she really wanted to be the MAster of Elysium then nothing would have kept her form it She stepped aside for her, not me, and I owe her nothing. Not even my friendship. I seem to have a nack for working with people that I detest, hmm good thing I like the coterie. They did pull me out of my darkness, where I was at least at home.

Now I seem to owe them, because they saved me, I have done a lot for them actually, I became something I did not want to be, and in return I have been given little, very little.

Though I must say I do have a home, and friends, that is all some need. But I have had more pain than I care to have, more hassle than I want. I am a patient one though, I can wait and see what happens. So I will wait, and watch, and play my part in the dance.

Intro

I was born, I grew, I learned and I changed. Now I find myself chasing a nightmare, one that never ends. I travel with the most beautiful woman I have ever known, she is everything I have ever wanted, and the one thing I won’t risk loosing. She is my friend, family, partner in everything, except the one thing I would love to share most with her.

I never bothered writing these things down before, figured the only purpose it would serve was entertainment for Lyla, maybe it will yet. Hope you enjoy this Lyla, maybe once you have read this you will understand all the things that I have never been able to tell you for the fear of how you would react to it. How would you feel about me if you knew how I lust after you more than anyone. Enough about that, the real reason I have changed my perception of journaling is I want someone to know what has happened should anything happen to me. I want others to know what evils are in this world, and what they are doing.

Not everything is black an white, there is a lot of grey in the world, and not evil is noticeable. The worst of which are those who think they are doing to wrong.

Any way here is where I will write my thoughts, and for those who would read this you have been warned.

Court Again

Court was held and it went over very successful. Eife approached me some time before court, and she asked my approval for a few things. She said that it was important that her beliefs are the prime ones. She went on about more things, and in the end she said that I am the only true rival or threat in the town. So she is doing what she can to keep me on her side.

I talked with Hal, a delight. Veronica, lucky I had to behaive. Chris, scary I think hse will go Single Pasty Vampire on me. And Elroy, dear dear john. Who I wish I could get rid of, he really pisses me off!!!

We schmoozed and danced and did all the appropriate things I was a good little fang face. So now the rat race begins.