Journal Entry 3

April 23rd, 2005

The last few days were hell. Ramiel was really upset about the situation that resulted from the encounter with the Waterfall spirit. I don’t know exactly what happened during the seance we held for that lost soul, but whatever it was really upset him. It upset him so badly he wouldn’t come near me, or even look at me. He was in a terrible mood and he had a big lump on his head.

Nobody would even talk about it and he was so angry all the time I thought he’d yell at me or worse if I pushed him to tell him what was wrong. That made me even afraid to touch his mind and pull what secret he was keeping out into the open. But I worried that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to keep silent about it. I was afraid to find out that I did something to make him so angry and I couldn’t bear the thought that he was secretly hating me. I didn’t want to know he hated me.

I kept wracking my mind to try to figure out what I had done, but I just didn’t know. I was so upset I cried and tried to hide it from him.

Thank God for Rey, though. Ramiel led us to this funny little town just off Lake Champlain. He said he wanted to see the legendary lake monster, Champy, and it brought me hope that his mood had cleared.

We shared a room, as we usually do to save money, though we gave Rey her own room. A storm rolled in and it seemed like he was going to treat me the same. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I confronted him with my feelings. Maybe it was the storm — I’ve always had this irrational fear of thunder and lightning — but I just couldn’t hold it back. I knew he loved me. I just knew it. I had to make him understand how I felt.

We are brother and sister. Not by blood, I’m sure. I was adopted as a baby, so he really was the only brother I’ve ever known. I also know that people might think it’s wrong to love your brother but I don’t care. I’ve never cared about what people think. I’ve loved my brother all my life and I’ve wanted to be physically with him. Sexually with him.

Last night, I got my wish. And, more importantly, it was his wish too. I know he felt a little awkward at first. In fact, he didn’t even believe me when I told him how I felt, how I wanted to have him. He thought I was teasing. But it’s true. It was always true. And last night I learned that we could be together, always. I know it.

He makes me feel new again, like a brand new person. I’ve known him all my life, but now I truly know him and I want him constantly.

I hope it never ends.

Journal Entry 2

April 16th, 2005

I know I’m healing amazingly quickly. Everybody keeps telling me that and I think it’s true. It’s just that I can barely wait to get out of here. Get out of bed, out of this bed and breakfast, out of this speck of “town”.

It’s not even a town really. Just a sort of crossroads with an inn and tavern run by the same two people. The locals all live more or less rural lives out here and this place seems to be their social hub, but I’m stuck in some back room by myself most of the time. Ramiel is a trooper, but he keeps coming up with things to do. I have to just sit here and think. That gets me reminiscing on the past and then things start to bug me.

Like that girl. I think her name was Julia. She was a cultist and I knew it from the start but Ramiel had no idea. I think he fell in love with her and that really bothers me. It always has and it always will. How could he have liked her so much with me right there this whole time?

I let him fall down because I knew he’d get up again, no matter how much it hurt. I knew that girl was trouble the moment I saw her, spying her from the shadows as I followed Ramiel. I wasn’t going to let him be with just anybody, after all, so I took some initiative and checked her out. Too bad he didn’t. It would have saved him a lot of heartbreak — not that he didn’t deserve it.

I could have told him that she was leading him into a trap. Oh she might have thought she was doing a good thing, but that cult was trouble. Sex, drugs, gibbering monsters from the Abyss, yeah that was bad, and Julia was sucking him right in.

I let it happen because I needed to find the cult. We needed to even if Ramiel didn’t know it yet. I needed her to think she was going to win him over. I needed him to believe her every step of the way so that we could get close to the leader and put and end to his mad dreams of power.

So in the process Ramiel was hurt but we persevered. The cult is out of action or at least slowed up quite a bit. The truth is, I let him get hurt because I love him. He has to understand that I love him like no one else ever can or ever will.

I love him. I may kill him, but I’ll love him forever.

The truth is that I don’t care who he toys with, who he sleeps with, so long as at the end of the night he always comes back to me. That’s the important thing.

I just wish there was some way to tell him.

My Journal

Journal Entry #1
April 15th, 2005.

All right, so I’m writing. I’m bored out of my skull trying to heal up from that thing that bit me yesterday. Horrible. Margaret, the innkeeper here, has really worked wonders helping me out, but I’m not sure she really believes my story. Strange given her talent for what looks like alternative or herbal medicine but I guess I might not have believe it either if I hadn’t been there. Being nearly killed by a zombie will convince most folks they are real but other than that? Naw, no one is going to believe it.

It doesn’t matter that it’s true, I suppose. Ramiel was there, thank God, and he saved my ass so I don’t care that nobody really knows or believes the story of what really happened. Other than this journal, I don’t think I’ll bother talking about it with other people. It’s wasted energy.

I really just want to heal up and get out of here. The sheriff keeps nosing around. He doesn’t want to know what really happened, but keeps pressing us for details on what he wants to believe happened here. All he really needs to know is that John Wilcott killed some people here, and kidnapped that girl.

The girl was hot, by the way. I’m surprised Ramiel didn’t slip away and see if she might like to show him some gratitude for saving her skin. But actually he keeps hanging around me instead. Boring. I just lie here and try to heal. I sleep most of the day. Margaret says it’s because I lost so much blood. Anyway, it’s sweet of him to watch over me. I sleep a little better knowing he’s there.

Neither of us can quite shake the willies. I know I keep thinking we missed one, that a zombie or something worse will come lurching out of the shadows at me. I think it’s the same for him. It will be a long time before we rest easy. If we ever do, that is.