Eldon Well, January 17, 2008

January 17, 2008

Oh, I’m sore. Pulled a muscle in my back at the Brew. Grey met me halfway home and gave me a massage when we got to the cabin. One thing led to another, and to say he liked the tattoo would be an understatement. Needless to say, I really like his too.

That reminds me. I need to get some body chocolate, a waterproof pad and a cheap set of sheets for the bed before Valentine’s Day.

Eldon Well, January 9, 2008

January 9, 2008

They were right when they said getting a tattoo hurt. The woman who did the work was pretty good about it, and it went really fast. I got the wolf print done first because it was the simplest. Next week, I’ll get the other one done. Hamilton healed it when I got home, which was a good thing, as it hurt like hell coming home, with the waistband of my jeans pressing against it.

The pawprint looks really nice. I can hardly wait to show it to Grey.

Eldon Well, January 1, 2008

January 1, 2008

Oh god, what a night. Better than I could have imagined. Better than I could ever dream. Grey met me after work with a rose in his hand, things only got better from there. He carried me all the way to the hot spring. *Carried me*. And then he took me back to the cabin. He went through such effort to make a perfect night. It was wonderful, and so romantic, but to be honest, I’d have been happy with just arriving back at the cabin and him jumping my bones. Last night will be a night I’ll remember for a long, long time.

And there will be certain things I will not tell Lyla. Too much of a temptation for her. Heck, I may no even mention one of the bite marks. She may ask to see and I don’t know if I want to share that with her.

I finally got to see his tattoos. The pleasure in seeing him nude made it difficult to concentrate, but I have to say I did pretty well, all things considered. One thing led to another, and I’ve decided to get some tattoos too. I was thinking about a tribal style wolf’s paw in the small of my back, and Grey really liked that idea. He’s going to give me a copy of his pawprint to use. We’re also going to get a matching pair of tattoos that I’m going to try and design. Something that’d mark us as forever as mates. I told him about the idea I had, about putting that tattoo low on my abdomen, below my belly button. He *really* liked that idea, and is going to get his down there, on lower right side of his pelvic area. That discussion got him all eager for a third go round, which would have been fine, except the tear I got the first time started bleeding again, so that got kiboshed.

We talked a bit about the Braffs, and what I should look out for. It’s going to be a difficult time for the next few weeks for them, if they are going to change.

The rest of the night was wonderful. Grey stayed the rest of the night, in my bed. In human form. It was so strange to have someone else in my bed, to awake with a nice, warm, male body holding mine. I really could get used to this.

Eldon Well, December 18, 2007

A night filled of dreams about a wolf, a nymph, and lots and lots of assorted naughtiness. I swear, my dreams are going to turn me into a nympho when Grey and I finally have sex. Bleh. That sounds so course. The term “make love” sounds so much better, but I don’t know if that’s what it will be.

Okay, time to drag my mind away from that and onto safer topics.

So much to do, so little time to do it. Lots of hours at the bar, which is good. I need the money. Luckily, during the early parts of my shift, it’s often not that busy so I can do stuff on the side. I don’t need a dedicated workspace to exercise my special talents. Not my magical ones, of course, but simple crafts. I don’t know if the others celebrates Christmas – it’s part of the life they had to leave behind, but I don’t care. This is the first time since I was a child that I’ve wanted to celebrate.

I’m not going to do a tree – maybe next year – but I’m going to do pine boughs on the mantle. Same with stockings for everyone – next year. Everyone’s gifts will be in little drawstring bags and I’ll hang those from the mantlepiece. I did order a mistletoe ball from the florist in town. I haven’t decided where to hang it, or even if I should. It was an impulse purchase. Maybe at the bottom of the stairs.

And the gifts. Nothing extravagant. I don’t know if they’d even want expensive store bought gifts, not that I could afford them. Instead, I made them all something. With my studying the Dream Travel ritual with the lust spirit, and the shop Ramiel wants to open, I’m getting to be a lot more aware about dreams. I going to make each of them up a dream bag, these ones being a combination of aromatic herbs and other stuff to help you have sweet dreams, and keep nightmares away. I’m also going to make each of them an evil eye talisman. All of these things I’m taking my time over, using the knowledge Hamilton taught me to make them as effective as I could without actually making them magical. Then it comes down to a matter of belief. I believe they will work, and if they believe, truly believe, then they’ll work for them too. But even if they don’t believe, I feel better knowing they have them.

Grey’s gifts, however, are a bit more extensive. He’s getting the dream bag and the evil eye talisman as well, but I made something special for him. I got a rabbit’s foot. A real rabbit’s foot, not one of those plastic and fun fur fake things. I cleaned it well, and I’ve slept with it every night for the past week. I’m going to put it on a leather thong, along with some beads, and two small talismans I carved of a bear and a wolf (timber wolf, of course). I really hope he likes it. I can’t share my luck with him, but I can make a luck charm for him. I put a couple drops of my blood on the base of the foot before I bound it up with leather so I could hang it on the thong. It won’t infuse any magic into it, but it will let a part of me always be with him.

For Ramiel and Lyla, as a joint gift, I got a book of naughty limericks and poetry in addition to the usual. I also did up dream bags and evil eye talismans for Michael, John and Daniel.

And, I bought myself some stuff. They were marked down to such a low price I couldn’t resist when I saw it online. Red silk sheets, and a “naughty elf” set of lingerie. Bra, thong, neglige and short robe, all of red lace and satin. I think Grey would love them, and they’re much naughtier than anything I’ve bought before, but I do’t know when he’ll ever see them, but I’ll wear them for myself.

I’ve been baking, and will be doing more for the party. A lot of it will be stuff that can be eaten cold or room temperature, or can be reheated quickly. I’ll be making the stew I served Grey that first night, and a huge batch of Rey’s Magic Mushrooms to go with the roast. Lots of work, but it’ll be worth it if it makes everyone happy.

Eldon Well, December 17, 2007

What a night. It was supposed to have been a quiet one but it ended up getting, well, not. I’d asked Lyla if she could come over to help me put the rope bed together, as I’d finally finished the carvings and everything. She came alright, but not alone. She had Ramiel and Rose in tow. When Ramiel saw the pile of bed parts and the rope, he immediately asked it if was a new toy, and if he could try it first. The conversation rapidly degenerated from there. I’d just gotten things back on track when Rose started up with her wood jokes, once she saw the large pile of logs and split wood by the fireplace and under the window. And at that moment, who should arrive but Grey.

Of course, that set off a whole new round of raunchy comments. When Grey hugged me, Ramiel immediately told us to ignore the fact they were there, and do what we’d normally do if we were alone. We just smiled and I held Grey a little tighter.

When we finally started to take the pieces of the bed upstairs, everything stopped again while they looked at the decorations I’d done. On the bedposts I’d carved scenes of myself as a nymph, playing in the woods with a large wolf. Hide and seek, tag, stuff like that. Pretty tame stuff, artistic nudity (no nipples or pubic hair), unless you knew about the dream they were based on. Lyla certainly did, and from the look she gave me, she definitely approved of them. Ramiel and Rose said they liked them. Grey said they were beautiful, and he lingered over them for a moment before putting them down.

They were all impressed with the rest of the bed too. I’d painted the headboard, runners, and just about everything else with a forest and wolf motif with trees, wolves hunting wild game, and wolf prints interspersed through the decorations. I’d even carved the bottom of the bedposts into wolf feet.

Ramiel seemed to take great delight in helping weaving the rope to make the platform for the mattress. We got the mattress up on it and the bed into place without any trouble. Ramiel asked if he could help test out the bed. Grey had moved to stand behind me, and I leaned back into him. As his hands went around me to hold me, I said “sorry, but we already broke the mattress in”. Lyla and Rose just laughed, but Ramiel just looked at the two of us before that cheshire cat grin appeared. He finally herded Lyla and Rose out of the cabin to leave Grey and I alone.

When they were gone, I just collapsed onto the couch and held out my arms. He didn’t need a second invitation. We sat there for a while, then got some drinks and stuff to nibble on and cuddled under the quilt by the fire. When I started to fall asleep, he carried me upstairs and tucked me into bed. The last thing I heard him say was “wolves and nymphs, hmm?” before he kissed me on the forehead and I fell asleep.

Eldon Well, November 8, 2007

I can’t believe I did it. Lyla would be so proud of me, though.

After telling her about my dreams about Grey, and then the lust spirit manifesting and wearing his face, I can’t ignore it, or deny it, anymore. I’m very attracted to him. I was attracted to Frank too, but nothing like this. I sure as heck never dreamed about him like I do Grey.

Lyla and the others left shortly after she and I got back to the house, leaving me four hours alone before I had to get to work. They say forewarned is forearmed. My dreams are telling me something that I just didn’t want to accept until now.

I want Grey.

So as soon as the others left — or more importantly, as soon as John left — I went to the clinic at the hospital to get a prescription for birth control. I don’t think I could have done it if I’d had to talk to John. John’s old enough to be my father. Having that kind of conversation with him is, I don’t know, it just feels wrong. Dr. Reilly doesn’t care who the guy is. She just gave me the “the pill or patch doesn’t prevent the transmission of disease” talk, handed me brochures about domestic violence, and gave me my prescription, some samples of the patch, and some condom samples. Won’t Lyla have a good chuckle if she sees those in my purse. Probably give me a pat on the back too.

But what do I do next? Just wait and see what happens? I don’t even know if he likes me, or even thinks I’m attractive. Maybe I could have Lyla find out? Geez, I sound like a stupid teenager. “Will you ask Timmy if he thinks I’m cute?” Blech.

Maybe I should ask her what she thinks, and if there’s some way she can find out what he thinks. If he’s not even remotely interested, I don’t want to embarass myself like that.

Well, time to get ready for work. It’s probably going to be busy tonight. Hopefully I’ll be too tired to dream.

Eldon Well, August 28-29, 2007

I don’t know what time it is, but I can’t sleep. Lyla’s friends must be stalking through the house, because I keep getting creepy crawlies up and down my spine, just enough to disturb me when I’m about to drift.

After the hell I want through, I can’t believe I found them again. Lyla and Ramiel, John, and Chaska, and the others. In Eldon Well, this nowhere town in the middle of New Hampshire. Lyla said it must have been fate. I don’t know. I don’t care. Oh god, I miss Hamilton. I close my eyes and I can hear his little scream as he yelled for me to run. If she hadn’t told me what Cherise was… God, it’s to horrible to think about. I know I don’t have nightmares, but I’m afraid to fall asleep. Afraid that I’ll wake up and discover it was all a dream and I’m still there in that room…

The trip here is mostly a blur. I don’t know how I ended up at my apartment, or how I got to the bus station. I’m sure my friend had something to do with it, but right now I don’t care. I’m safe, at least for tonight.

I wish I’d had the presence of mind to ask that that nice elderly couple their names, so I could thank them for the kindness they showed me. Buying me lunch and being so understanding. I wonder how long it took for them to realize I’d slipped the money they gave me back into their pockets.

Lyla and Chaska have changed. I can see it, plain as day. Werewolves. And Ramiel has changed. I don’t know what he has become, but almost every word he said tonight was like a knife twisting in my heart. He didn’t even seem to know it? Does he really think that a few words from him will ease my pain? That “I’d have been there if I’d known” erase the years thinking they were dead and what happened to Frank?

Oh god, Frank, I loved you so much. What did I do to deserve losing you….

Eldon Well, September 27, 2007

Today was very… interesting. I’ve been here a couple of weeks, waiting for the axe to fall because I figured out Lyla’s secret. It finally came to a head last night. Lyla brought Ironclaw and Grey to “meet” me. A polite way of saying “decide if it would just be better to kill the witch and be done with it”.

Things turned out better – and substantially different – then I had expected.

Ironclaw, the leader, is huge. NFL frigging line backer huge. And I bet not a single ounce of it is unnecessary fat. I feel like he could snap me in half with his little finger if he wanted to. However, he seems to know just the right thing to put you at ease. I felt like I was talking to a friend, or big brother, not some 300 pound werewolf that could order me killed at the slightest whim. We talked a bit, and I’m very glad he’s got a sense of humor. I made a remark about how I was feeling like Red Riding Hood, and he said they’d have eaten the woodsman. I’d like to think that he meant I was never in any real danger from them.

Grey didn’t talk much, but when he did, he sounded like a stodgy old professor. He seems a lot more, I don’t know, balanced of the two. Like he was more at peace with his Wolf than Ironclaw and Lyla. Lyla later told me that I’d probably have no problem catching him if I wanted to. As if I’d want to. I don’t want anything to do with any man beyond friendship. Every time I get close to one, I end up getting burned.

And boy, is Lyla going to be in trouble if the pack ever learned some of what she told me tonight. But I’ll never tell. She explained why it’s wrong, and what the rest of the pack would think and why. I have to say I agree with Lyla’s interpretation, but it’s not me. My opinion doesn’t count because I’m not part of the pack.

At least not yet.

I still can’t believe I’m going to become part of the pack. And I’m scared. Lyla told me what happens to Selene as the bottom of the pack, and as soon as I’m in, that’ll be me. She says that because I’m not a werewolf, I’ll be treated more carefuly. I know that’s what she thinks, but she’s not sure, and I don’t think I’d even have a chance against Selene even in a play fight.

But I’m going to be part of the pack. Definitely not what I had expected, or even set out to do. I would have been content to by a friend. An ally. Someone they trusted with their secret. I don’t know who was surprised more at Ironclaw’s pronouncement that if I was going to be part of a pack, it would be his pack. That he wanted Grey and Lyla to consult with YFB and find a way to bind me to the pack as if I were a werewolf.

Of course, that’s made me even the more concerned. So many selfish reasons going around for me to become part of the pack. Lyla wanting someone she can talk to. Me, so desperate to become part of a family that I risk everything to bcome part of something I probably have no right to become a part of. Ironclaw says it won’t weaken the pack, but I’m not so sure.

What’s a witch compared to a werewolf?

Lyla claims that my abilities and experience with spirits would be an asset to the pack. Make me valuable to them. I don’t know. I have no idea what they can do, and won’t until I’m welcomed into the pack. I don’t know when that will be, but I suspect it will be soon. Ironclaw seems to be an action kind of guy, so when he decides something is going to happen, it happens then.

I’m going to be helping Grey and Lyla. Or at least I’m going to try. If YBF deems me worthy to be part of the pack, then the chiminage he demands may not be onerous. I was also thinking that since I’m the one who wants to be part of the pack, then I should be there to help bear the burden of the price, should YBF decide I should be the one who pays.

Poor Hamilton. I don’t think he’s going to be very happy about this. He’s so afraid of dogs, and I think he’s even more afraid of werewolves. I just hope that when Lyla and Chaska found him, they managed to convince him he wasn’t going to be dinner.

Dinner. I definitely don’t want to be a werewolf’s dinner, or his punching bag. I need to find a way to drag myself up from the bottom of the pack and into a position of respect – and relative safety – without having to literally fight anyone for it. I know I can work at the bar, but that’s only going to do so much.

They don’t think much like humans, so that has to be a hinderance for them, a drawback when dealing with the “sleeping herd”. (Oh yeah, I felt real good knowing I was being compared to a cow.) Maybe I could work my way into position as a middleman, an intermediary between the town and the pack. They can’t be doing too well when trying to deal with humans, and their inherent scariness certainlt can’t help.

Maybe I could do the same with spirits. I’m certain there are spirits who will need help but won’t go to the werewolves because they’re scared of them. Or problems with spirits could crop up in the area that aren’t important or dangerous enough to have to call the pack in. If I could do that, make a position for myself within the pack doing things the others can’t do, something that really helps the pack, then it just might work. They’ll respect someone for that, won’t they?

I certainly don’t want Ironclaw, and Lyla, down.

The Waterfall

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m not going to be writing things in here in a chronological order. As I remember things, or feel able to write about them, I’ll do it.

I still don’t feel good about what happened at the waterfall. I thought I was doing the right thing, being so careful. But I screwed up. Big time. Ramiel ended up possessed by a ghost I’m positive wasn’t the one I called, and he almost raped an unconscious Lyla. All because of me.

I was so careful to make sure it was the woman’s ghost, but I forgot to try and verify the man’s ghost. I feel so stupid. And then my temper got the better of me… Thank god Hamilton was there and he was able to heal Ramiel. I don’t think I could ever have forgiven myself if… I don’t even want to think about what could have happened.

I still don’t think I can forgive myself for that failure.

Opening Entry

I don’t really know why I’m doing this. Well, I do, but it feels more than a little strange. Hamilton told me once that witches have something called a Book of Shadows. They used to have an oral tradition, passing knowledge down to members of their coven. When the persecutions started, the covens disbanded and the witches went into hiding, and so they knowledge wouldn’t be lost, they started writing it down.

So I guess this will be my Book of Shadows. I’ll record what I learn and experience. I doubt I’ll have anyone to ever share my knowledge with. I mean, Lyla and Ramiel are nice, and are kind of like family to me now, but… I don’t know. Given what my own parents did to me, is it any wonder I’m nervous?

We’re on our way to Charlotte. Ramiel has this bee in his bonnet about getting there. He won’t tell Lyla or I what it’s about. It’s almost like he’s a lemming, driven towards the sea – or in this case, Lake Champlain. Yeah, I know, lemmings don’t really run themselves over cliffs into the ocean, but the image is still a good one.