Timeline: April 22nd, 2008 (after the conversation in The Ride)
After several hours in the car Ramiel decided he needed some stretching room. Pulling into the next rest station he asked Michael to take a walk with him, alone. Leaving Lyla to an unlocked car he kept the keys so she could not leave them.
“We need to talk.”
Michael got into step beside Ramiel. “OK, what’s up?” Michael asked.
“Anne Marie wants to bargain for the ring. I told her I would have to discuss it with you. I figure after we have a good laugh we can tell her no.” He laughed only slightly and Michael could tell it was to cover how he really felt on the matter.
Michael looked at Ramiel, then said, “There is no way in HELL, she will ever get that ring. There is no reason to discuss it, you know how I feel about this subject. I do not trust her, or her kind.”
“I feel the same. Though she did return the ring and managed to turn the gift into some sick joke i played on her. If it was not valuable to us I would just destroy it and be done with it.”
He ran his fingers through his hair, and to Michael seemed to be fighting a deep anger. “I really hate talking to her sometimes.”
Michael stopped walking, and looked at Ramiel. “Okay, what’s the problem? You seem to be on edge about something, and I don’t think it is about this ring. So let’s have it, what’s wrong?”
“It is about it, or more about her, and at the same time the shit that has happened recently.” He sighed and kept walking. “She always turns things around on me and it pisses me off. She had the balls to tell me that my willing to destroy the ring so easily let her know the real me, what kind of person I really am. She doesn’t know shit!” He was barely able to keep his anger under control.
“She doesn’t stop to consider anything or anyone else in the equation. Oh sure she has helped out and that is supposed to put us in what? What the fuck does she want hasn’t she taken enough from me????”
Michael got back into step with Ramiel. “You need to calm the fuck down. You are letting someone who you don’t really care about, aggravate you. I am sure she has her own agenda, and plays at being our “friend”. What makes you think that she knows the real you? Just by destroying the ring? What the fuck does she know? She knows nothing, you need to calm down, and just forget about her.”
“I know that!” His eyes had begun to get pink around the edges as water welled in them. He turned to face Michael. “I can’t loose you too.”
“What?!” Michael asked. “What are you talking about? Loose me?”
“You just sit in the back and be all broody over your actions. You were not in control okay, let it go. Let it go and whatever else has been bothering you or talk to me about it. The more you keep it to yourself the closer you get to the darkness, and I’ll be damned if I am going to loose you to the that. I can handle you trying to kill me, so long as it is not really you, but don’t leave me because you were too stupid to talk things through. OK?” Ramiel was clearly struggling with his emotions, more so than Michael had seen in him before.
“OK, who said I was leaving? And what makes you think I was going to be leaving anyway?
“Yeah, there has been alot of shit that has happened lately, that I have been close lipped about. Maybe I liked being broody and keeping to myself, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone about what was bothering me. I’m like that sometimes, so sue me. With what happened during the rat attack, and the mistakes that both of us made, and the ones I did on my own. With everyone, it seems, coming at me in anger. I started to think, why not just become the monster that they all think I am becoming.”
Michael paused and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He approached Ramiel, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Look, I’m sorry I’ve been all closed off and moody. I’m surprised it took you this long to come to me about this.”
“You know I don’t talk that openly about how I feel.” He said laying a hand on Michael’s.” I am referring to you loosing yourself and becoming that monster. I don’t want to loose you that way. I am very familiar with it, Michael you are not a monster and I am sorry that the others were angry with you. I asked Lyla not to use such tactics, I told her it would only make things bad.
I don’t care what mistakes you have made or will make, you mean a lot to me and I don;t want to loose that. I didn’t want you to go into that fight with the rats because I didn’t want to loose you then, and now I see you slipping further away by doing less, by moping. You have been doing it more and more lately.”
He laughed slightly, “Sorry, the talk with Ann and you in the car was just too much. I have not forgiven her for the part she played in the loss of our…” He stopped talking.
“The loss of our??? The loss of what Ramiel? Don’t get all closed off on me now, with you just going off on me for it,” Michael said.
“And I’m not sure if I should be angry or thankful that you sicced Lyla on me, back in the car.”
He shook his head and wiped his eyes.” I know that it is not entirely her fault, but my mind keeps going over everything. Sometimes at night it sneaks up on me. I see Lyla and the look in her eyes when she realizes what has happened. I see the pain as she looks at the blood on the floor. She was so happy to be pregnant.” He looked at Michael.
“I can only assume things have not gone well with Selene, as to why you have been moody. It pains me to think that you will miss your child too. You were so happy, just like Lyla. I played my part in the loss of our baby, just like I will play my part in her death it seems.
“I know I am not making sense. I just want you to not make my mistakes. I don’t want to loose you no matter what.”
“Are you talking about what happened when we went up against Sterling?,” Michael asked. “I think many were at fault with what went on with that situation. I think one of the things was that it seemed like a rush job, without doing more in gathering intel before going in.
“Well what’s going on between Selene and I is, not to my liking, but I will except it. We have atleast come to an accord, in that I need to earn her trust back, and that we will be friends for now. And when I told her that I would still like to stand by her side through her pregnancy, She told me she couldn’t make any promises and we shall just have to wait and see.”
Michael let his hand fall from Ramiel’s shoulder, as he spoke that last remark, and became rather quiet.
Ramiel grabbed Michael’s wrist before it could fall away and pulled him into his arms. “You are not alone here.”
Michael just held Ramiel back, then said, “I know I’m not alone. But, damn it, sometimes it just feels that way.”
“Idoit.” Ramiel said as he ran his fingers lightly over Michael’s hair, but only for moment. Then he held him for as long as Michael wanted.
“OK, are we done here? Cause I don’t know about you, but I need to use the restroom,” Michael said with a smile.
He laughed and took a step back. “Well I could use a release. But I guess I don’t get what I want.” He smacked Michael on the ass and took off running
Michael shook his head, as he took off after Ramiel, to try and beat him to the restroom.