Timeline: March 16th, 2008
To say Rey felt miserable was an understatement. She’d spent the entire night crying, unable to sleep. She just wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere. But she had to work. She had to keep going. Amazing what simple home remedies and Visine could to to make her look presentable.
It was early in the morning. Rey had chosen that time because she knew he’d be out hunting and wouldn’t be at the house. Didn’t want to run into him for fear of losing her nerve. It was hard enough, forcing herself to go to there.
She’d written the letter dozens of times. She’d carried it around with her, but always found excuses not to give it to him. But she couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to now. If she didn’t, and he didn’t come back, then she’d… Her knotted stomach churned.
Rey forced her hands to relax when she realized she was crumpling and twisting the envelope she held. Carefully, she smoothed it out as best she could.
She looked down at it, the words written on the paper inside burned into her mind. Would they work, or would they just make things worse? If she never gave it to him, she wouldn’t have to worry about it. But if she didn’t give it to him…
Rey crept nervously down the hallway towards his room, and then stopped. She was too wound up to sense whether or not he was there. She hesitated, then took a deep breath and practically ran the last few feet. Rey slid the envelope under his door and fled.
The day had been long, her shift at the Blood and Brew seemed to take an eternity. Rey was looking forward to getting off her feet, more than ready to be home. But she missed Grey. A week had gone by already. A long and lonely week.
As she approached her cabin she saw that the lights were on.
She frowned, and came to a stop. Hamilton, go peek in the window and see who’s there. She stepped off the path and into the trees, out of easy sight of the cabin.
Yes. Hamilton sprinted off the the cabin and sprang up onto the windowsill. After a few minute he returned to Rey. Grey seems to be making dinner, Miss. Should we go Lyla’s?
No. Rey stepped back onto the path and continued towards the cabin. This is my home. If he doesn’t want to see me, he can be the one to leave. But it was just bravado. She didn’t know what she’d do if he was there but didn’t want to see her.
The aroma of food cooking could be smelled as she got closer.
Despite her nerves, Rey’s stomach clamored for food. She’d forced herself to eat the past few days, knowing starving herself wouldn’t help anyone, least of all herself. She’d even bought a four pack of Mudslides with the newfound “freedom” of turning 21 two weeks earlier had given her, but she hadn’t touched it once it was in the fridge.
Rey climbed the steps to her porch and stopped to knock the snow off her boots before opening the door to go inside.
Grey could hear her outside, he continued his prep work and waited for her to enter.
Rey opened the door and walked in, closing it softly behind her as she always did. “Hi.” Her voice was soft and a bit hesitant as she slipped off her coat and hung it up on the rack next to the door.
“I hope you are hungry. I made you roast withe veggies, ice cream and chocolate fudge cake for desert. Fresh baked bread, and a variety of drinks for you to choose from.” He placed the roast on the table with the rest of the meal and walked over to her.
“Is it okay?” He asked seeing how apprehensive she was.
Rey nodded and relaxed, but still not completely at ease. “It looks and smells fantastic. Will… will you stay and eat with me? Please?” She prayed this wasn’t some cruel trick, that he’d say yes.
“That was the plan.” He said taking her into his arms and breathing deeply of her scent.
Rey let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and relaxed into him. Silent tears of relief filled her eyes as she buried her face against his chest. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“I know I have been cruel to you. You are so young and I am being terrible to make you go through this. I am sorry for that, but it was necessary.” He held her tightly and gently kissed the back of her head.
“No, not cruel. I deserved it all.” She fought back the sobs that were struggling to burst out of her. “And more.”
“Shh.” Grey put his hand beneath her chin and tilted her head up so he could see her. “Let’s eat while it is warm. We can talk more later.”
“Okay,” Rey said with a big sniffle. “I want to go wash my face. I’ll be back in a sec.” She was as good as her word, and was back with a clean face in short order.
“There is my beautiful girl.” Grey said as he made her a plate.
Rey felt her cheeks warm up a bit as she sat at the table. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to Grey calling her that. “This all smells really good, Grey. Thank you.”
“Thank you for not kicking me out when you saw me.” He smiled/
“Well, I kind of hoped that if you were here, and cooking, that you wanted to see me.” She smiled. “But if you were here only to eat my food and use my kitchen, then I was going to throw the frying pan John gave me for Christmas at your head.” Rey shook her head. “You were certainly resourceful. I didn’t think I had enough to make a meal like this. I didn’t get a chance to do the groceries yesterday.”
“I did.” he said with a smile. “You are fully stocked again.”
“I should have realized you’d done some shopping.” Rey picked up her fork. “I ate the last of the ice cream two days ago for breakfast.” She tasted the roast, and an expression of bliss covered her face. “Oh, that is so good.” Thirsty, she reached for her glass and remembered it was empty. “What do you have to drink?”
He smiled and went to the fridge. “Everything from water to whiskey. Your choice.”
“I think I’ll leave the whiskey for later. Can you get me one of the Mudslides? I bought them last week, then completely forgot about them.”
Grey returned with the mudslide for her. “Eat as much as you like.”
Rey took her time, thoroughly enjoying every mouthful. She also made that single drink last until she’d eaten the very last forkful on her plate. Setting her fork down, she looked at him with a happy smile. “Dessert?”
Grey happily dished out cake and ice cream for her.
She polished that off too, and refrained from licking the bowl clean. Picking up her napkin, Rey wiped her mouth and leaned back in her chair. “Oh man, I’m stuffed.” She sighed happily.
“Good.” Grey said. “You never eat well enough when you are alone,” He cleaned the table. “Now what would you like?”
“Just a glass of water for now, thank you.”
Again Grey did as she asked.
Rey sat quietly for a moment, looking at the drink in her hands. He was being so kind to her. So caring. Especially after what she’d done. She didn’t feel like she deserved it. Taking a sip of water, she tried to swallow down the lump that had formed in her throat.
Grey sat next to her taking her inhis arms. “You did nothing wrong Rey. You were curious, and wanted to let me experience evrything I could with you. There is no harm in your intentions or actions. The problem came in when I, who knew better, agreed to let you get hurt.
“I have been questioning myself, not you. It is only natural for you to be curious about it. Believe me if I hadn’t lost control back then, I would definatly be in for it. But it horrifies me how I felt back then. It makes me ill knowing that you saw that. No that you felt it.
“You have become to important to me to risk loosing control. But now I am not even sure you can be near me, or look at me the same.”
“I love you, Grey,” Rey said simply, as if that was the answer for everything. Everything she felt for him filled her eyes. “You are Uratha, and if I cannot accept that, then I would not be a good mate for you. Not that I’m saying I enjoyed what happened, but I can understand why it happened.
“When you first talked to me about what happened, you’d said she screamed, and then that was it. I thought,” Rey flushed, “that Morgan was, well, noisy like I am. I know that the noisier I am, the better things are.” Her cheeks felt like they were burning. “I also know that, especially in Dalu form, the Uratha do what feels good. You are so passionate, so giving. I thought that if she’d screamed out in passion, that it was the last straw, so to speak, and you’d lost yourself in all that sensation.
“Now I know that’s not what happened. I wish I’d learned it some other way. But if I hadn’t wanted to be near you I’d have turned back at the foot of the lane to the cabin and gone to Lyla’s. When I saw the lights on, I sent Hamilton ahead to see what was going on,” she admitted. “I want to be near you, Grey. I want to be with you, in whatever way you’re willing to be with me. I love you.”
“Okay then. You have seen me at my absolute worst. If you can still look me in the eye and say you love me, then there is no going back. I’m yours Rey, so long as we live. You are my mate, through the darkest times and fleas. Personally I am aiming for brighter more cheery times and no fleas. I love you Honore.”
A joyous, yet serious, smile covered Rey’s face. “Nothing I can say can top that. I just hope I can make you as happy as you make me.”
“I will try to keep myself in line a little better. I’m just not used to this.” With that said he kissed her and took her upstairs.