Kian has become very close to me, in fact he bedded me, and I gave myself to him. Though some time has passed since then and I seriously doubt his feelings towards me. HE seems to not care very much what happens to me, and there is the fact that I cannot really trust as to if he is bedding many others.
Shawn has become closer to me and I believe I can call him friend. Though every time we go out together we get into more trouble than we can handle.
I have realized of late that I am alone here, even though there are others they are not of my line, no I ma not meant for this world. I truly feel I should have passed with Dorian. I have decided to try and find a place though, to make a spot for myself. I had hoped though that I could be at Kian’s side, sigh I think it might be best to forget him, and accept my failure of virtue.
I have recently met The Phantom, or John Elroy. HE is considered and elder here, he survived the troubles of Belfast so I know he is strong. I have to say though that he left a rather bad impression with me. He flaunted his power and tried to control me, simply because he is my clan, though how he knew what clan I was I do not know.
But I could not tolerate him and so I left. Though I knew how much it meant to the coterie that he be a contact, not an enemy. So I went back to him and came to terms with him. Since then he has been much better.
I have met other Nos in this town, Lorian who dwells in the cemetery and is not very personable. Redwall, who has taken home in the west side, though to my sadness he has gone missing.
I have taken to playing music, to sooth my sorrows. I was offered to make a record in a studio though I have not acted on it, it would cause to much trouble.
Then there is a girl at the school who lies about much to cover her pain, but she believes in the mother goddess and wishes to learn. I realize that Eife was trying to set something up for me so that I would not be alone, though I do not wish to take a ghoul at this time, and she would not be my pick. I am not here to solve her pains, that is something she needs to achieve on her own. I do not like that this is something that Eife tried to do, though I guess I can not blame her, as in her view she was helping me. Though I am feeling more and more that I do not want to be here, I clinged to Kian for my own comfort, to find my place, and I am seeing clearer that this was error. He seems to have very little care for me, and how I feel.
Shawn and I got into some trouble with the gaurds. They are called police and they took us to the station they are posted to. He was wanted because he was and is a reporter, he disappeared and they last sighting of him was ina place some bad things happened. So they took him and I went with him. Ian had just traded with the sales woman to get me some new coverings.